Expectations

I find it interesting that my name is manyeqspectations. Let’s think about what that means. I do feel like I have many expectations for my life that I set for myself. For example, survive high school, graduate college, have a job I like, be happy in life etc. I know it’s going to be a long and bumpy road, but I’m okay with that.

What I don’t like is this: When other people have high expectations for me that I do not approve of. Yes, I agree in people pushing me so that I can excel. For people having expectations of be because they know that I can reach them if I try.

But those people who have too many unrealistic expectations of me. You cannot force someone, manipulate someone and push them past their limits because you want the outcome. You cannot change someone because you expected them to be a certain way and they’re not. I am me. So don’t make me someone I’m not. I am doing what I can to make the most of every moment. So don’t be greedy and set the bars too high when you know I can’t reach them. I’ll set my own expectations and you set yours. And hopefully we meet somewhere in the middle.

It Carries On

Heart racing

Mind spinning

Loud voices yelling and soft ones crying

Fists pounding

Hands chocking

How much longer,

Until the pain is gone?

Cold metal

Brings peace

Blood runs down pale skin

Heart breaks

Yet the world carries on,

Black and white

The pain

The lies

The deception

Goes on

As if you were never there

A Promise

You smile bright, throw your head back and laugh,

But I see through your eyes and into your heart.

There’s a sadness that engulfs it, but that’s just half.Hiding your pain has become a fine art.

The happy days are gone, a dark cloud

Follows behind, turning dreams into nightmares

It’s not the dark that scares you, but the loud

Monsters that lurk behind the black curtains and scares

The angry voices.

The hits.

The blows.

Could all go away, but not if you stay

Cold metal against your pale skin,

Blood flows

And stops. A promise you made long ago mustn’t stray.

The dark sheds light on what lays ahead.

We must not fear what has been left unsaid.

Hello world!

So I’ve decided to start a blog. I don’t know what I’m going to post about yet, but I’m using this as a way to have my voice heard. (Because honesty, it never is) I don’t know how many people will actually read this, or care about what I have to say, but I hope that maybe I can impact someone’s life in a positive way with what I have to say. I’ve decided that you will know me as Logan R. Names don’t identify who you are. So maybe it’s best if I tell you a little bit about myself first.

1) I am a socially awkward introvert with not a lot of self-estem that is trying to come out of her shell (which is very hard btw)

2) I’m a 15 y/o girl trying to survive high school.

3) I live in a small town in New York (and no, living in upstate NY is not the same as living in NYC)

4) I’m an equestrian, and for those of you who don’t know what that is, I make stubborn 1200 pound animals with a mind of their own jump over colorful sticks. This is a huge part of my life and is my safe haven so you’ll be hearing a bunch about it.

5) I love writing, poetry and music which helps me express my feelings

6) I think the world just needs to be happy again and people need to stop judging each other and except them for who they are.

7) I’m not religious at all, and I don’t want to be (but I accept all religions and beliefs)

8) I love looking at the world from different perspectives and point of views

9) I’m going to stop being someone everyone else wants me to be and be who I want to be (if that makes any sense)

10) I anticipate life a lot, which is hard not to do (patience isn’t my strongest quality)

So now you know about me. I don’t know who I want to be yet, so this is where I begin my journey to find myself. And remember this… “Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end”